Majella Reid

A personal perspective

In my experience, when you lose your mind, with it goes your confidence, your self-belief and your previous ability to function in a world built on the recognition of achievement and merit.

You no longer ‘fit in’. The world has changed utterly and so too has your place in it. You stand on the outside, looking in. An observer. Almost a guest.

Moreover, I have found that every episode of madness has a theme, and when that theme has its origins in your faith, your belief system, your calling, it rocks you even further.

I was studying to become a medium in the lead-up to my first psychotic episode. On the outside, I was ‘safe’.

I attended the ‘right’ schools for mediumship. They were highly recommended and internationally reputed. And I practiced psychic self-defence diligently through prayer. But the walls still crumbled.

Looking back, my weakness lay in two key areas.

Firstly, I didn’t question. I immersed myself fully and unquestioningly into every spiritual encounter I could find. I opened myself up energetically to all kinds of experiences and had no boundaries.

Secondly, the lack of emotional and psychological balance in my life. My personal life had changed that year with the end of my marriage, and I did not seek psychotherapy or even the counsel of friendships.

I chose instead to resolve these and other aspects of my life solely through my spiritual growth.

The result: I built strong walls. But I had no foundations. So, the walls caved.

It was the perfect storm.

The fall out is still something I find difficult to accept. As do others. In the general community, there is a fear of an acute mental illness (I have been clinically diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder). It is a fear of the unknown and it is understandable.

However, the rabbit hole of psychosis is something I feel we all need to be concerned about.

At the moment, social media platforms are frenzied with people who hand over their power to strangers claiming to be psychics and mediums. There’s an energy of chaos and craziness to it, as the gaming features of some of these platforms desensitise the work.

In addition, there is a hunger, an ache in the viewers/followers. It reminds me of the hunger I felt for that kind of healing when I was first starting out. And that makes me nervous.

My psychotic episodes brought me on a spiritual-themed journey I would not change. I still love mediumship and psychic work. But I paid a very high price for the stability I have today.

My message is simple: be absolutely ruthless about who you place your trust in. Ruthless. And seek balance in addressing your issues. Your Spirit needs this, as much as your mind.

And when in doubt, pray and listen to your inner guidance – all power and direction you need lies within you.