Majella Reid

There are invisible walls in my life. The ones that pop up unexpectedly throwing all plans and ambitions askew. Ordinarily, I cope. The financial limitations, the health considerations, the family commitments, the concerns about my pets. One by one, up the walls crop, and one by one I deal with them. Until now.

Now they have arisen all together creating a fortress that is locking me in and depriving me of a unique and wonderful experience. An experience that may not arise for another year if not longer. One I had looked forward to for the best part of a decade.

Photo: Giorgio Trovato

Invisible walls are in everyone’s life, penetrating our hopes and our dreams and restricting our freedoms. We lie victim to their pressure, captured in their rules and limitations. And sometimes it hurts. Boy, does it hurt.

I have cried. I have cursed. All to no avail. I demanded of the Universe, ‘where is MY break?’ No response.

After every storm there comes a calm, and so too it was with me. The Universe and I placed our differences to one side and I saw that there is a reason for everything. There is a reason I am missing out on this experience.

I just don’t know what it is yet.

It may be as simple as the fact that right now, the cat needs me. Or it may be something even more subtle like a deeper lesson in the book of patience.

So how do I get back to baseline content? The answer is always gratitude. I am grateful that I am here for the cat. I am grateful that my family needs me and I can be there for them. I am grateful that I have other experiences within which to immerse myself.

I am grateful that all going well, in another year, I will have the opportunity to try again. And then, I will approach the experience with renewed enthusiasm and above all, gratitude.